I was engaged, but he dumped me...hard, over the phone cuz he didnt have the balls to do it to my face....so now I'm single again and even though I'm not in a hurry to get a new bf I wouldnt mind...so if any of you know any eligable guys with low standards send em my way...ok
love yas
Debby

My life has been on a downward spiral for several weeks...I've lost control of the spin and I honestly want to die, my fiance broke up with me which wasnt the beginning..the beginning was him talking to his ex...shes a bitch who caused him to want to kill himself and he almost succeeded... well..apparently he cant open up to me and tell me his problems he has to go behind my back and call her to tell her whats wrong...which causes me to wonder what the point of opening up is...and according to him I stressed him out too much that's why he did what he felt must be done. He's still living with me and we still do the couple things like cuddling ...and other stuff, but it feels like I'm doing something wrong, and I am. I cry way more than I should so I've started a new little experiment, I'm gonna become an unemotional bitch so he cant hurt me anymore than he already has, this is what must be done...I've been patient and loving and now I'm gonna be unattached and uncaring and well flat out...a fucking bitch to him, maybe that will teach him a lesson...or jade me forever either way....I win

If you ever have to face the problem I have girls....give him a taste of his own medicine and pretend you're too busy to be there for him like he does to you...or like Micheal did to me.

yea just when I thought everything was going good I have an emo relapse from hell...I'm shutting Micheal out and thats the last thing I ever want to do b/c well he's pretty much my only friend and all that other sentimental bs that you're used to hearing...
sometimes I cant help but think he hates me for something I am unaware of...like right now we are in 2 seperate rooms b/c he's watching a movie and I pleaded a headache and came in to my "cave" to reflect and write what most ppl would call emo poetry but what I call just writing down what I'm thinking at the time..yea I guess its like that
and I also found out that ryan...yea he's an ass but anyway...he's gonna be a daddy soon cuz that girl he cheated on me with is pregnant with his baby...and the sad part of all that is...I'm jealous, I wish I was the happy one...not neccessarily with him or pregnant but happy none the less and now having said that I think I'll go do what I do best and throw up all my pain and misery...yea but its from the migraine so dont call me anorexic or bullemic or yea well whatever
bye
XOXOXOXOX
Debby

well that title was kinda pointless...I just realized that my LJ is terribly neglected...if you really wanna read my blogage then go to my myspace and add me as a friend or whatever cuz I dont feel like blogging on this stupid thing all the time...
my myspace url is www.myspace.com/mychemicaldepression
I guess that's all i wanted

its been forever since I've been online but I think its time I give another quick update as to my life in general...Devin hates me (I dont care) and I'm getting married
yep thats it
ok go back to jerking off to Harry Potter losers

well it turns out that i'm not going to NC...yea so Ryan is an asshole who had another girlfriend..i got to meet her today..she didnt know about me either so it's all good cuz she yelled at him for both of us and then assumed that we were cool. i was like "no we arent cool" and she got pissed at me but ofw...and if you've seen my myspace then you know all about it by now...GAH i'm so pissed!! i went from sad and all that to utterly pissed and vengeful!! yay for revenge or as MCR would say " THREE CHEERS FOR SWEET REVENGE" yay for caps lock too!!


but yea in lighter news kiddies...i'm going to be in Florida in June of next year!!!

THE LAST TIME I UPDATED THIS THING WAS THE END OF JULY...NOT SHIT HAS HAPPENED SINCE THEN
I'M MOVING TO NC IN NOVEMBER..DONT ASK WHY CUZ I HAVENT FIGURED THAT OUT MYSELF
THE ONLY THING I HAVE LEFT TO LOOK FORWARD TOO IS THE BLACK PARADE COMING OUT LATER THIS MONTH!
I MUST ADMIT SADLY THAT I AM NO LONGER "IN LOVE" WITH GERARD WAY
HE'S STILL CUTE, I'LL GIVE HIM THAT...BUT THE HAIR SCARES ME

I'M REALLY FUCKING BORED AND I DONT KNOW WHY I'M MESSING AROUND WITH MY LIVE JOURNAL
I'M KINDA SAD NOW...I DONT KNOW WHY
I HOPE IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME MOVING CUZ I'M GONNA GO ANYWAY

I'm going to go see a kick ass show in 12 hrs! Then maybe after that I'll go get drunk. Then next week I'm gonna go buy a car and a laptop and some other stuff, then after that is my birthday! I'll finally be 18 so I can go see Shinedown at The Canopy Club!! Maybe someday I'll even be able to see MCR there, I'll keep my fingers crossed! I also have some sort of relationship going with a really great guy from Virginia who wants to come up here and see me, which is never gonna happen, but I'll keep my fingers crossed!

There's also this guy from Australia who wants to have a 3way with me and Jade Puget from AFI, that really scares me...not that I object...but whatever. I almost died earlier when I was at Border's and saw the cover of People magazine, Lance Bass is gay!!lol Wow I should have seen that coming, I feel pretty dumb now, it was so obvious! I'm a total smacktard!

So yea anyway, that is a summary of my life for right now, I hope it gets better soon or I might just turn into an Emo and do something drastic.

I'm going to get completely smashed this weekend! I am sooo happy! Maybe a good buzz and some cute guys are just what I need to take my mind of that unfortunate Bryant incident. Incindentally, I wasted my time talking to that loser!!

O.K. so I'm a member of gothics-r-us.com and I'm sure you're laughing right now, but it's awesome! There are sooo many cool people on there and as far as I can tell, none of them are mentally disturbed :). But anyway, if you're bored here or with myspace then you should join there too b/c there's always someone to talk to.
♥ Debbie

I HAVE RECENTLY REALIZED THAT I KNOW PRETTY MUCH NOTHING!! I have no clue how to do anything with this damn thing and I'm not really sure I wanna keep it! Can someone please tell me what the point of live journal is?